Love the Unexpected

My twins are one year old! It’s been the longest and shortest year of my life and I’m thankful for every day that I get to be their mom. With the terrible news we’re seeing these days, it’s an especially striking reminder of how blessed we are to live in safety and peace.

As I think about the last year, I’m reminded of all the anxiety I had built up around how I would take care of not one but two babies. I worried about the financial strain of needing two of so many things, and how I’d feed or rock them both – and that was just my internal dialogue!

As a twin mom, I’ve gotten used to hearing things like, “boy, you’ve got your hands full!”, or “you must be busy!”. The comments are always accompanied by looks of something akin to incredulousness mixed with sympathy. When we see a set of twins, our minds immediately jump to thoughts of the work, diapers and sleeplessness that must go along with them. It’s not a bad thing – that’s where my mind first went too!

But something I’ve realized over this past year, is that having twins is … awesome. There are so many great, fun things that we’ve had the chance to experience that is so unique and special. So if you’re expecting twins and are finding yourself overwhelmed at what’s to come, take a minute to bask in this list of perks to having twins.

1. You get to watch their individual personalities develop

I’m sure this is also true of siblings who are different ages, but there is something so fun about watching the personalities of two babies who are the exact same age unfold. It’s amazing that while they were formed from the same DNA and born at the same time, each one is completely unique.

In our case, we had boy-girl twins and I would argue that watching two babies grow up side-by-side at the exact same age is incredibly observable evidence of our Creator’s design for humanity. He made humans male and female and they are NOT the same. They play differently, eat differently, problem-solve differently. One isn’t better than the other – they were created equal but with different gifts and abilities.

In addition to the boy-girl differences, we’ve gotten to know their individual personalities. My son is relaxed, inquisitive, determined and adventurous. My daughter is cautious, curious, cuddly and very patient with her brother. Watching that dynamic form has been a source of joy for my husband and I.

2. They have a built-in playmate and friend

This one might take a while to see – I remember when we first brought the twins home, they didn’t have a lot of awareness about each other. Still, we have a lot of cute pictures of the two napping side-by-side. No matter how we positioned them, they would always find a way to reach out their little arms toward each other.

One of my most precious memories from this year occurred after we brought our son home from his cleft lip repair surgery. We’d only been gone for a day, but as soon as we put the two of them in their high chairs, they reached out to grab each other’s hand. We caught it on camera and my son was absolutely beaming to be back with his sister.

Probably around the six month mark, we really started to notice them interacting more. At a year, they’re now starting to go on little adventures together: exploring different (baby-proofed) parts of the house, pulling laundry, toys and outdoorwear from any bins and baskets within reach, and investigating the stairs.

Sure, there are some sibling spats (usually caused by my son taking literally ANYTHING my daughter is playing with), but there’s an incredible comfort in knowing that they have each other. When I think about milestones like starting school, or challenges my son may face with his cleft lip, it eases my mind to know that they’ll always have a friend by their side.

3. You get double the snuggles

Both my husband and I really enjoyed the newborn snuggles with our babies. The best thing about twins – you don’t have to share! My memories of our first few months at home are of the two of us cozied up in our bed, watching TV, each with a baby sleeping on our chest. We were exhausted and so, so happy.

Even now, as the twins get older, I can always count on my little girl to be ready for a big hug. Her brother might be a little more independent, but he too will take a pause every now and again to come over and cuddle in. These are precious moments that I savour with each of them because I know they won’t last long.

4. It’s like traveling with celebrities

This might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but going anywhere with twins draws a lot of attention. Our twins are very much not identical, but I still always have a bit of a chuckle at the perennial favourite question: “are they twins?”. One better was asked just last week: “are they related?”.

All joking aside, most people are thrilled to see double and many have stopped to congratulate me and tell me how sweet they are. You also get to hear lots of twin stories. We’ve been stopped by people who have twins, have twin grandchildren, or who are twins themselves. It’s always encouraging to hear about twins that are still close and to remember that you’re not alone in your twin adventure! Others have gone before you and thrived.

5. You’re ultra equipped if you want more kids

Listen, we’ve got it all. Boy clothes, girl clothes, sleep sacks, toys, stroller – we are prepared! So, if we do decide to have more kids, our shopping list will be comparatively short.

Plus, we made it through newborn twins and survived. There’s something about having this knowledge in your pocket that lends confidence. If we could handle that, we can handle anything. Okay, that might be a bit optimistic; but I do have significantly less anxiety around taking care of another baby than I did initially with the twins.

Conclusion

This is a fairly light-hearted list of some of the great things about having twins, but I hope I’ve gotten my point across. The initial news when you find out you’re expecting twins can be a bit shocking and overwhelming. Not every day of the last year has been sunshine and roses – we’ve had our share of hard days and long nights.

But twins are an incredible blessing and I can’t imagine my life any other way. Any time someone asks me how I’ve found the experience, I can say honestly that it is so much fun. Each baby is precious on their own and together they will be a force to reckoned with. I’m proud to be a twin mom and so thankful for this journey.