Love the Unexpected

Something I hear a lot as a twin mom is: “I don’t know how you do it”.

Some days, not a whole lot gets done other than keeping those two little people happy and healthy. Other days, I go into boss mode and get everything done. Realistically, the most common days are something in between.

It didn’t start out this way. The first three months of my babies’ lives were spent in routine chaos, as my husband and I adapted to having two tiny humans in our home, running on little sleep and much caffeine. Sixteen feeds and just as many diaper changes per day leave little time for much else.

Eventually, we started to get the hang of things. We started to get to know the individual personalities of our little people. We learned who needed to be worn in a carrier and who could be rocked in their bouncer. We learned who would sleep the longest and who could wait a couple extra minutes for their bottle.

As we got more and more familiar with our new normal, the faint outline of a routine started to take shape. I started to recognize opportunities to get little things done through the day. I learned to adapt my to-dos to the baby rhythm.

But it wasn’t without some effort and planning on my part. I still don’t feel like I’ve got everything down – there’s always room for improvement. But there are some specific things that I’ve learned and started to do within the last year that have helped. So, if you’re wondering how a twin mom juggles her babies and her household from 0 to twelve months – here’s how this mom does it.

1. Equipment is key

Twins are expensive, but when it came to equipment, we didn’t necessarily need two of everything. We tried to be careful not to purchase too many things before the babies were born, at the risk of never using it. Instead, we bought along the way as we identified a need. We found that this system worked well for us.

Once we purchased the equipment that fit that need, though – wow. We always noticed a huge difference in our day-to-day. For example, we learned early on that our little girl was most comfortable when she was being held close. We hadn’t given much thought to baby wearing before the babies were born. Once we bought a carrier and started putting her in as we went about routine tasks, it made it a lot easier to get things done.

In contrast, our little boy didn’t like to be worn – he much preferred playing in his bouncer and watching us while we worked. Between these two pieces of equipment, I was able to start doing work around the kitchen again. Most of my Christmas baking that year was done with baby girl in her carrier and baby boy in his bouncer. Could I have managed without? Probably. But having the right tools, certainly made life easier.

2. I break down my tasks

First, let me state that I hate being interrupted. There is nothing that makes me feel more scatterbrained than starting something, being called away in the middle of it, then having to remember what I was trying to do and where I was in doing it. There are certainly times when I have to just accept that it happens and move on, but in planning my housework, I’ve tried to minimize the risk as much as possible.

I do this by breaking down my tasks into things I can tangibly complete in ten to fifteen minutes. If I were to tell myself that on Tuesday, I’m going to clean my house – that’s great. But there are a whole lot of things that could be included in “cleaning my house” – it’s too general and more than likely I’ll get a couple of them done, then feel discouraged because there are still so many dirty parts of my house!

Instead, I get specific. Cleaning my main floor bathroom is one task. Disinfecting my kitchen counters is another. Vaccuum and Swiffer the main level. You get the picture. Since each task can be completed in ten to fifteen minutes, I know that if I start, I will very likely finish uninterrupted – or if I am interrupted, it’s not so overwhelming to dive back in.

3. I set a schedule

I don’t mean that I set a timed scheduled for my day of when I’ll get things done. Quite simply, this wouldn’t work. There are too many variables to account for right now to make this something that would reduce stress rather than add to it. We’re getting there and I can see how this might work in the future, but for now, I need to keep things flexible during the day.

Instead, I have a weekly schedule for what needs to get done on each day. With our current routine, I know that naptimes are my main time to get things done. Some tasks I can do with the kids underfoot but there aren’t too many. So, on a good day, I know that gives me at least thirty minutes to an hour a day of synchronized sleep to bust out a few to-dos. Since they’re already broken down into small increments, it makes it easy to set two to three per day to get done.

It may not seem like much, but by the end of the week, my house is in order (or as close as it can be with two eleven month olds), I have a sense of accomplishment at having gotten a few things done, and I still had lots of time to spend with my kiddos. Instead of spending each day overwhelmed with a list of things that need to get done and no time to do it in, it spreads out the tasks evenly through the week and the routine lifts some of the mental load of wondering what needs to get done that day.

I have to give credit here to Becca Bristow and her Mom Masterlist on this one. It first got me thinking about how to get things done without being constantly overwhelmed and seeming never to get ahead.

4. I give myself grace

There are some days where life happens and despite my best intentions, things just don’t get done. One of the kids might be extra needy, I might be running low on energy, maybe we had a rough night. Whatever the reason, keeping my house just isn’t my priority.

Keeping two babies alive is a big enough job. So, on days when I just don’t have it in me to tackle my to-do list and it’s all I can do to put one foot in front of the other, I don’t sweat it too much. I know there will be time to get caught up, and I know taking time to recharge and spend quality time with my kids is not time wasted.

Conclusion

Caring for twins isn’t for the faint of heart. It’s a lot of work, and it takes a lot of intention to keep up with the housework that goes along with it. But, it’s also the most rewarding job I’ve ever had. It might not be glamourous and there are times it can seem mundane. But seeing those little faces everyday, watching them grow, develop, learn knew skills and interact with each other, is absolutely worth it.