Love the Unexpected

My husband and I found out that we were expecting twins very early on in our pregnancy. I’ve heard of many women who talk about how they knew or suspected that they were having twins as soon as they found out they were pregnant.

I was not one of those women.

I remember walking out of the ultrasound clinic from my dating/viability scan and laughing because I didn’t know how else to react. I had gone to the ultrasound alone since I knew we wouldn’t be able to see too much and it was more important at that point for my husband to get the hours in at work.

When I found out that there were two, I wasn’t quite sure how to tell him. Surely this was news you delivered in person? I sent a quick text letting him know that everything looked good and waited until I could read his reaction when I picked him up from work to give him the news.

Did I mention my husband is the stoic type?

I remember the drive back to our apartment starting out very quiet. We were experiencing reverse reactions. When we found out we were pregnant, I was the one who was anxious while he took the news in stride. Now it was his turn to sweat a little.

Rest assured that after the initial shock wore off, both of us recognized what an incredible blessing it was to welcome not just one baby but two.

Still, in those early days, I remember the reality of what a twin pregnancy could mean, hitting me in waves.

First, I realized that I was going to be considered a high-risk pregnancy. I didn’t know what all could go wrong, I just knew that we would certainly be at a higher risk of experiencing complications. Okay, I told myself, that’s okay. I’m a very healthy person and had really never experienced much in the way of health issues, so surely that would be to my advantage. (If you’re expecting twins and curious about the complications that are commonly associated with twin pregnancies, the Mayo Clinic has a nice summary in their article Twin pregnancy: what twins or multiples mean for mom).

Then, I remembered that twin pregnancies were much more likely to be delivered as c-sections. Hmm, that one hit me a little harder. There is something terrifying about the idea of being fully awake while someone cuts into your body. Besides, from what I had heard, c-sections were a lot harder to recover from and who had the time for recovery with twins? As it happened, I would learn a lot more than I cared to about c-sections, but more on that later.

Of course, there was also the realization of everything that I would need two of. Did you need two cribs with two babies, or could you get away with one? (Spoiler alert: you need two). My mind ran through the list with dollars signs as bullet points. Two car seats, two high chairs, two bassinets, two rocking chairs, a double stroller, twice the clothes, twice the diapers. I could feel my head starting to spin.

With each new realization, it was tempting to let the anxiety take over and consume me. I didn’t want to ignore the reality of what could happen – expecting twins is a different experience than a singleton and there are real risks. But all things in life have risk and I knew that letting the worry fester wasn’t going to help me either. Instead, I focused on acknowledging what was bothering me, educating myself as best I could and reminding myself of these truths from the Bible.

1. Jeremiah 29:11

“For I know the plans I have for you”, declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.”

Even though I didn’t know what challenges I might face in my pregnancy, I could rest assured that God was in control. He had a plan, and the promise of his Word was that it was a plan for good.

2. Romans 8:28

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose

Some of the things that we would face in our pregnancy wouldn’t be good. God’s promise wasn’t that we would never face difficult times. But he did promise that he would work all things for good. We could rest in the assurance that even in the hard times, God could redeem and use those moments for good.

3. Philippians 4:13

I can do all this through him who gives me strength

No matter what would come during our pregnancy, I didn’t have to rely on my strength alone to carry me through. If God allowed it to happen, he would give me the strength to face it.

4. Psalm 139:13-16

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

Our pregnancy may have come as a surprise to us, but it wasn’t a surprise to God. He had carefully planned and created these two beautiful lives that we had the honor of bringing into the world. He was weaving together each part of them. Not only did he have a plan for me and my husband – he had a plan for these precious little people and who they would become. There was great assurance in knowing that their days were written before we even met them.

5. Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

This was one of those verses that I learned in Sunday school when I was about five years old, but it’s one that has crept up over and over again in my life. I can attest that throughout my pregnancy there were things that happened that I struggled to understand and yet God paved a path for us to make it through.

All in all, I’m happy to report that other than the initial surprise of finding out about the twins, my first trimester was otherwise uneventful and likely very comparable to a singleton pregnancy. My husband and I used the time to buy our home and budget for the things that we would need. Aside from not feeling too well and being hungry all the time, it was a fairly low-key time for us. Of course, I say that now knowing what the second and third trimesters would bring.